As we already know, I'm a bit on the clumsy side. I bang into walls, routinely hit my head, and constantly trip over my own two feet. Through all of this, I rarely injury myself seriously. A few bumps and bruises, and I'm off and running again. This weekend was so beautiful, R and I decided to go rollerskating (rollerblading for him). I prefer skates because I'm on four wheels in a quad set-up, instead of inline. More balance, which is very important for me. We were doing fine until we turned around and were faced with going back down the hill we'd had to go up earlier. It wasn't particularly steep, but let's be honest, I don't need steep to cause problems. I started out okay, and but was picking up speed fast enough to concern me, so instead of heading all the way to the bottom, I decided to try to make the ease off on to the bike lane. That's where it all went wrong. One moment I was up, the next I was tumbling over. I'm now left with bumps, bruises, cuts, scrapes, and a knee swollen enough to look like a boiled egg. My wedding band and engagement ring are all scraped up on the bottom. But in spite of all of this? I just want to laugh. First because it's really so ridiculous. I'm just a walking disaster. More than that, though, I want to laugh because as R put it, "All the bruises and scrapes mean you're out living." And I'll take that over being holed up inside any day of the week. Sure, it hurts. And it's ugly. And it'll interfere with my ability to zumba properly for a while. But really it's almost a badge of honor, and I'll take it.
The last year and a half for me has been all about self-discovery. Discovering my limits, what I can and can't handle. Realizing that I'm stronger than I knew, both physically and mentally. More importantly, I've discovered which limits I can push. I can go that step further, I can lift that heavier weight, I can keep driving. I think, sometimes, that the hardest thing as a writer is life. It's what gives us our inspirations, but at the same time, it's what gets in our way and keeps us from writing. So what's a writer to do? We can't just sit down and roll over. We aren't going to just take it. And that's what I've had to do. Yes, life has gotten in the way lately. My day job has required a lot of overtime, and I've had to accept that. I've also had to accept that my body needs sleep. I know, silly, right? Ultimately, though, I've discovered one truth that I will forever hold dear: I can do anything I set my mind to. I know it sounds trite and cliche, but it's true. More importantly, so can you. I'm often shocked by what I can accomplish. And when something stands in my way it becomes a personal challenge. Which leads to yet another discovery...not everything in life is a challenge. Hard to remember, sometimes. It's no always my lesson to learn. Crazy, right? It's not all about me. So don't leave me in the wind. What have you discovered about yourself lately?
I've always prided myself on being open to trying new things. So in the spirit of adventure, last weekend I tried skiing for essentially the first time. I say essentially because I really can't count the two lessons I've taken previously in the last ten years. Especially when those lessons were 3-4 years apart from each other. My husband is a skier, and we had a plan. I'd take a lesson in the morning, then he'd come and join me on what I could handle in the afternoon. The first day our plan worked swimmingly. The second day? Not so much. Oh, my lesson went great. The instructor gave me all sorts of praise on my way down that mountain. When I reached the bottom I was so proud of myself! If I could do this, I could do anything! Then came lunch, and then came our next trip down. This time with my husband. For those of you who have skied before, you know that when you're first starting out it doesn't matter how good of shape you are in. Your legs will be tired. You will eventually get to the point where you have less control. I reached this point in the afternoon of day two. There we were, attempting one of the greenest of the green runs, and I was losing control. I was going to fast (in my head at least), and couldn't slow down. My solution? Scream and fall. At one point, sitting there on the mountain with snot and tears streaming, all I could say was, "My body won't do what I want it to do. I'm so frustrated!" Later, thinking about this, I realized that this feeling can be applied to so many things. To life. To writing. I admit I like to be in control. I like knowing where I'm going with something, and how I'm getting there. I may be a pantser when it comes to my writing, but I have full control of just about everything else. And when I lose that control? Well, bring on the snot and tears. But here's the thing. I got to the bottom of that mountain. It may have been slow. It may have been less than graceful. But I got there. And that feeling of pride when I reached the end? It was the same feeling of pride I get when I put a book to bed. So, okay, I may not have been in full control. The world didn't end. I didn't break anything. I survived. There's a lesson to be learned here, but it's one only seen in hindsight. Sometimes we have to loosen the reins a little and life carry us down the mountain. Sure we may go too fast at times, and we may even fall. But we'll get to the bottom one way or another.
Sometimes all it takes is a little rest and relaxation to get back on track. Over mid-Winter Break R and I took our honeymoon. We went on a cruise to the Mexican Riviera. While there we snorkled, and parasailed. We sat in the sun and soaked it in (hey, living in Washington that vitamin D was in desperate need). Part of my relaxation routine was hitting the gym on board. There is something about being able to watch the water float by while I walked/ran on the treadmill got all my creative muscles firing. I had more ideas race through my head in those 40 min. sessions than I've experienced in good long while. I couldn't wait to come home and get to work. And I did. I began working on a middle grade novel that my mind has played with since last October. It's on the backburner for a few weeks now, while I finish up report cards and my new Board entries, but the fire and the passion for the writing are still there. And that's all I need to get back on track.
Sometimes I forget the most basic things, those things that feed my soul and make me happy. They are simple, everyday things too. Like music. Not music in the car, or music on your iPod, but music you can hear throughout the house. The CD you stick in just to relax and come down from all the craziness and running around of the day. It's easy to forget. I haven't had an actual CD player in years. In the apartment, I always just used my computer. Now, the computer is in my office. Music doesn't leave that room, unless I turn it way up. So when I come home, the television often goes on to act as background noise and break the silence. It's been on a lot lately, since R is still working on the other side of the state. But I missed my music. So over the weekend R and I treated ourselves to a CD player that can be heard throughout the condo...without being turned up to the max. One we'll have for years to come. And now it sits in my dining room, happily playing my mix of French Jazz, while I do my laundry and make lunch for tomorrow. I'm lovin' it! It's like a piece of my soul has been returned. It's got my creativity flowing again, in a most unexpected way. What have you forgotten lately? What feeds your soul that you've been ignoring?
Well, sort of. I was warned about a month ago that it was normal if I felt a sense of malaise after the wedding. And recently I've seen several articles online and in magazines talking about this phenomenon. Apparently after spending upwards of a year planning the "perfect day," getting back to real life can lead to the blues. Thankfully, I have not experienced this. In fact, I felt a sense of release once the wedding was over. Now, don't get me wrong. It was the most beautiful event I could have wanted. The night was wonderful and amazing, and now I'm married to my best friend. The release comes in knowing that all the planning, all the meetings, all the time consuming little details are OVER. Done. Fini. My life is mine again. I spent the first week exhausted. I can't imagine taking our honeymoon right now. I wouldn't have had the energy! So I tried to get back into my workout schedule, and returned as many borrowed items as possible. This weekend I read Susan Elizabeth Philips much-anticipated Call Me Irresistible, and loved it! Today, after Ray left to drive back for work tomorrow, I ran errands, hit the gym, read. I relaxed for the first time in what felt like months. Most importantly, I feel like writing again. I feel like I've had time to refill the well, finally, and that I can be creative once more. And all I have to say for that is Hallelujah! I'm starting small. My friends know I like to have weekly goals for myself. A guideline to keep me on track and moving forward. These same friends were the first to kick me in the rear when not meeting those goals almost sent me into a corner to rock back and forth. Now, those same goals energize me. They are small, manageable, but infinitely doable. And that's just what I need right now to get myself back in the saddle.
Some people go through a major cleaning in the spring. I like to do it in the winter. This year, it has been a month long process of pulling out sweaters I really shouldn't wear any more, and finding a new home for the dishes I won't be using soon. Today marks one week before the big day. How am I spending it? Cleaning. And I'm strangely excited about this. It's like by cleaning the condo today, I'm leaving it open for all sorts of wonderful energy tomorrow and for the rest of the week. Plus, then I'm not panicking about how long it has been since I vacuumed when my grandparents insist on seeing the new couch. Do you like cleaning? Does it refresh you or repulse you? Inquiring minds want to know...
This is kind of how I'm feeling this week. In a good way, of course. Lots going on, and not a lot of time to just stand around and enjoy it all. Still, it's all for a great reason, so I'll take it. Less than two weeks, my friends, and life will change forever. Or at the very least, I'll have an additional ring to weigh my hand down. Happy New Year to you all!
Winter break has always been a time of relaxation for me. A chance to recharge and revive. This year it's also a time for me to look back on all the amazing events of the last year.
I began the National Board process. This can take up to three years, and is a very intense process.
I planned a wedding. This has been an amazing journey. It has challenged me in ways I never would have imagined, but I have come out stronger for it.
I continued to turn my condo into a home. Ray replaced all the lighting in the condo, creating a more warm and welcoming feel.
I finished and polished my YA novel, and began work on another Contemporary novel. While the first begins to make the submission rounds, the second is about 1/4 the way done. This is my 7th or 8th manuscript (it's getting hard to keep track people).
My writing support group morphed and grew, and I can now count some of the most amazing women, writers, and people as my friends. I love you all! (and yes, you know who you are).
As the year 2010 draws to its close, take a moment and think about all the blessings in YOUR life. It's so easy sometimes to glom on to the negative, but the positive has so much more power.
My lovely friend Eileen had this link posted the other day, and I couldn't help but share it myself. Anyone who knows about me well, knows that I just about peed my pants laughing at this. And considering it's the middle of report cards, I needed that laugh. So, for your viewing pleasure, go here and see what the Evil Dark Lord of the Sith does on his time off.
An open letter to the man sitting in the car next to me...
Air-quotes are a very important visual tool. They come in pretty handy when I want to make a point. Wildly gesticulating also helps me to get my points across. But neither make a darn bit of difference when the person you're talking to IS ON THE OTHER END OF YOUR CELL PHONE.
Sometimes you just have to give in and realize you can't do it all. This is probably the hardest lesson in the world for me. But about the time I was using my lunch break (and my last real break for the day) to call Verizon about my wonky phone, it really hit home. I'm not Superwoman. I know, shocker, right? I blame the movie, "Supergirl," for planting the idea in my head that I could have it all. I mean, she beat Faye Dunaway! Clearly I was mislead. So I'm really going to do my best over the next 89 days to cut myself some slack and recognize when I'm going overboard. And if I don't, I'm sure someone will yell at me (much like they did last night and today).
I've been reading through some old blog posts lately, and realized something very important. I was a lot funnier five years ago. I'm not sure why, exactly. I can honestly say I'm very happy with my life these days. Maybe I'm under more stress? Maybe I just have a lot on my plate? Maybe facebook posts have killed my blog? Who knows. But in honor of the blog the way it used to be, I thought I'd share a couple random thoughts I've had in the last couple of days: -It doesn't seem to matter what time of year you're driving. Bugs go kamikaze any time of year. It was so bad recently that I could barely see through my windshield. What I did see appeared to be thousands of hail-sized bugs aiming straight for me on a suicide path. -Wedding registries are weird. They are the opportunity to ask for things from people you'd never have the guts to ask for in person. I'd never ask anyone to get me some of this stuff for my birthday, but apparently because I'm getting married, it's okay?
So it's your turn now, what's your random thought for the week?
Note to the man jogging on the trail the other day...
Please put on pants, instead of those super-tight shorts. I really don't need to see what-all you have. Also, please make sure your t-shirt fits. I understand it's your favorite, and that your wife accidentally shrunk it in the dryer, but that does not mean you should continue to wear it. If you simply can't bear to throw it out, then donate it to a good cause. Just please, please do not wear it. The sight of your rounded belly hanging out the bottom really almost ruined my walk.
The last few weeks have been full of reminders from childhood. The big one is my return to swimming. My gym opened a new location near the condo, and they have a pool. I've taken to swimming at least 1-2 times a week. I used to love swimming and being in the water, but go out of the habit as I grew older. This may have had something to do with lack of access. Not only do I swim there, but I've also started participating in the water aerobics class. This class reminds me so much of the stuff my sister and I would do in the pool when we were growing up. Minus the handstands of course. But it involves lots of jumping around, and hanging on to the side and kicking for all I'm worth. And, thanks to our beautiful weather, R and I pulled out our baseball gloves this weekend and threw around the softball. Lil' Sis joined us today for more softball fun. I played on our school team in middle school and high school, but not since. It was great to know I still have it in me...even if my throwing arm is clearly weak and prone to pain.
What have been your recent reminders of childhood?
This is how I'm feeling right now. I find that lately I'm feeling decidely un-witty. This could be due to many reasons. I'm going to chalk it up to the biggest reason...stress. Stress sucks, did you know that? So rather than try to think of some long rambling musing, I'm going to leave you with this: http://weffriddles.com It's evil. R turned me on to it last weekend and I spent 2 hours trying to solve one riddle. It's completely addictive. And you just gotta give it a try. Here's a hint, make sure you keep a word document or text document of the clues, because you may need them at various points.
I've always been amused by how people connect. Some days it seems so very random. Case in point, several months back, an old friend from sleepover camp found me. Now, I've blocked most camp memories from my mind, as frankly, they are too scarring to deal with. Let's just say I'm not, nor have I ever been, a good overnight camper. She found me on facebook through one of my cousins, and asked to friend me. But it's getting to be even crazier. Now I'm starting to get postcard from wedding venues...despite not having contacted them about my engagement. Facebook, because of my "engaged" status, now recommends photographers, stationary types, and other wedding-ish ideas. And it just keeps coming. No wonder some brides go crazy early on. We haven't set a date, we haven't talked about much (really, all my fault, I swear), and yet I'm still inundated with wedding stuff. It's just so odd.
My brain is too scattered this week to pull together anything remotely coherent, so you get to benefit... 1) Yesterday was an absolutely beautiful day. The sun was shining, the temps were mild. It was the perfect day for a walk on the waterfront, and I spent it indoors. 2) It's important to set goals for yourself, even if the only goal is to be out of bed by 10 a.m. 3) Sometimes a walk around Greenlake is the perfect way to start your day. It's even better when Starbucks has your tea to make your tea latte. 4) Sometimes you just have to be proud you didn't steal the donut. 5) Sometimes a video game is the perfect soundtrack to your work...especially when you have to get said work done and don't want to be distracted by the television.
Since I moved into my condo a couple of months ago, I've taken to wandering my new neighborhood. Partially I'm trying to familiarize myself with it, partially I want to see what kind of homes there are. But there's a small part of me that's looking at these houses and picking out a few and thinking to myself, "I could live there one day." *snort* I've been a homeowner since October and I'm already looking for my next place.
What have you been up to in this dreary weather (though admittedly, it's been beautiful the last few days)?
